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Nicole Ashley
31 August 2013 @ 12:04 am
Wow.  
Man, remember when Livejournal was the shit?  Seriously, I wish we'd all abandon facebook and come back here!

Anyway, I've been thinking lately of writing a "real" blog and linking the entries back to here.  Only problem is, I have so many interests and hobbies that I have NO idea what to blog about?  Photography?  Nerdy shit?  No clue!

So Mark and I will be celebrating our one year wedding anniversary this October! Whoa!  Where did the time go?!  I actually just glanced back at my previous entries about my past relationship woes and I feel so embarrassed!  What was wrong with me?!  I can't believe I allowed myself to be treated the way I was!   Especially by guys who ... really weren't anything to write home about. 
 
 
Nicole Ashley
15 May 2011 @ 08:06 pm

Those of you on my Facebook already know this, and are probably sick of the updates/pics/general gushing.  But if you're still interested in the back story, read on! 

So, let's backtrack to January.   I was knee-deep in the mopiness of doom that was the demise of my relationship with Eric.   The matter was not helped by the complete dating disaster that was Mike.  I started doing some serious thinking and I came to the realization that I was a magnet for guys who, quite frankly, really end up not giving a shit about me.   And I was no longer okay with this.  What was I to do if that's all I attracted?  I mean, what's the point if somewhere down the road a guy just up and decides I'm not worth it anymore. 

"Maybe I should just give up." I thought.  And I didn't mean it in a sad, woe-is-me kind of way.   I seriously felt like there was no point in trying anymore.  I started to shut down emotionally.   I no longer had any interest in attaching myself to anyone anymore.   I began taking the necessary steps to prepare myself for being alone the rest of my life. 

But, as is always the case with me, I had this nagging optimism that just would not go away.  "There is STILL someone out there!  Don't stop looking!".  Try as I might, I couldn't get rid of it.  So to appease it ... i joined match.com. 

At first I was pretty sure I was wasting my time (and money).  Then I got another of my usual e-mails suggesting certain users and I don't know why ... but I was drawn to one in particular.  I clicked on his profile and lo and behold he has this looooooong bio typed out.   I thought it (and he) was cute, so I "winked" at him.  A few days later he sends me a message. 

I find out that his name is Mark.  He loves to cook, he studied religion and philosophy at WVU, lives in Morgantown, likes dogs ... the usual stuff you find out about someone.  But then I let it slip that I'm a HUGE Harry Potter nerd.  "Me too!" He replies.  In another e-mail, he mentions being a big fan of MST3K.  "Oh my God, I used to watch that all the time in high school!  I've never met another person in my adult life that knows ANYTHING about it!".   And I haven't!  The more and more we talk in the e-mails, the more and more I find out that we're both essentially really big nerds!  So I ask him to talk on the phone, and things only progress.   By the time we get to our first official date, I'm already quite smitten with him.  

I notice that are "dates" are quite long.  I mean, like, several HOURS long!  Our second date lasted so long into the night, we ended up at a nearby McDonald's until almost 4 in the morning because it was the only thing open!  He's so funny, and sweet, and I started to get that feeling of "OMGIREALLYLIKETHISGUY!!!".   So in the middle of March, he officially asked me to be his girlfriend. 

You guys ... this is seriously the best relationship I've ever been in.  

I have NEVER had someone (even in the beginning stages of the relationship), tell me every single day how much I mean to them.  Mark does.  He does things like pushing stray hairs away from my face before kissing me.   He does those cute little things to show me he cares.  He remembers my little inside jokes, and even references them at random times.  He makes me smile and laugh so much that my face will hurt and my ribs ache.  He's attentive, and caring.  I really, truly think this was the person I was meant to be with all along.   

-sigh-  I just can't believe that mere months ago I was so miserable and felt so alone.  I especially can't believe that I wanted to so desperately cling to something that was obviously bad for me, but it was familiar and comforting.   If I had known this was possible, I don't think I would have felt that way AT ALL.   I remember being soooooo upset when I found out Eric was getting married, now it's one week away and I could honestly care less.   And NOW I see just how toxic that relationship was for me.  Ugh,  if only I had known ...

But, the important thing is now I have this.  And even though I ALWAYS say this, I really do think this is going to last for a VERY long time. :)


 
 
Current Mood: lovedloved
 
 
Nicole Ashley
10 September 2010 @ 09:22 am
:(  


Those of you who are on my Facebook already know this, so I apologize for repeating myself.

Last Saturday, my ten-year-old cat, Lancelot, passed away.  Needless to say ... I was pretty  devastated.  I got her when I was 17, and anyone who's read my journal since the beginning knows how much she meant to me. 

She was there for me when I was going through a tough time in high school and when I decided to drop out.  She's been through 5 moves with me, when I was a little displaced during my late teens/early 20's.   She was there during break-ups and during my Aunt Emma's passing.  That's a lot for one kitty to go through with a person, but she did and she was always there.  That's more than what I can say for a lot of the people in my life.

I'm starting to feel a lot better than I did a week ago.  I can talk about her without tearing up, and that's why I decided now would be a good time to post this.  I still miss her, and maybe someday way down the road I'll be able to adopt a new all-black kitty.  For now, though, I take a lot of comfort in my other kitties who are still here and still need me.

Rest in peace, Lancelot.  And thank you for all the good memories you left behind.


 
 
Current Mood: sadsad
 
 
Nicole Ashley
25 April 2010 @ 12:27 pm
Do you have good friends from other countries that you've met on LiveJournal? Have you ever met them in person? If not, do you think you ever will?

Not other countries, but other states.  Brandy I met online before livejournal, back in the dark ages of AOL and dail-up internet. We were both aspiring writers and would share our stories with each other. (Which we should do again sometime!)  Sarah I met through a friend of a friend on LJ. I think it was over some creepy guy who would e-mail this girl's friends and would just be very weird and stalkerish. I think she and I both fell victim to this dude's creepiness and kinda bonded over our mutual "WTF?!" over the siuation, Lol.

It's so weird that I consider you two very close friends of mine and we've never even met.   I really hope to remedy this someday so I can stop saying to offline people "Oh, my on-line friend Brandy/Sarah ..." and look like a complete nerd with no off-line friends, Lol.
 
 
Current Mood: thoughtfulthoughtful
 
 
Nicole Ashley
21 April 2010 @ 10:49 pm

Remember a few posts back when I was asking where I could find a cheap pair of cowboy boots? To which I think one of you replied something along the lines of "Go down South and buy a pair", lol.

Well look what I bought on CLEARANCE and is on it's way to my house! 

They're not EXACTLY what I was looking for, but they're close enough! 

Yay!

 
 
Current Mood: yay!
Current Music: gorillaz - stylo
 
 
 
Nicole Ashley
12 April 2010 @ 07:44 am
What would you do if your pet dog or cat suddenly started to talk to you, but nobody else could hear it? Would you assume you'd gone mad or simply be happy for the company? Would you try to convince your friends and family or would you be satisfied keeping it to yourself?

Keep it to myself.  My cats know too many secrets ... -shifty eyes-
 
 
Nicole Ashley
11 April 2010 @ 02:06 pm
If you were 12 and could see yourself now, do you think you'd be happy or disappointed, and why?

I think I would be extremely happy with where I am at 27.  I'd be a little disappointed at myself for straying away from my beliefs and morals for a brief period of time, but I think seeing myself striving to do the things I've always loved (writing and photography), I'd be quick to forgive myself. :)

I'd also be super jealous at how many cats I now have now, lol.
 
 
Current Mood: thoughtfulthoughtful
 
 
Nicole Ashley
05 February 2010 @ 11:21 pm
Dear fellow gamer nerds,

TUESDAY TUESDAY TUESDAY!!!!

Here was where the video was supposed to be, but instead LJ wouldn't let me embed it for some reason.  LAME!

I'm going to my local GameStop for the midnight release.  The problem with this is I have classes on Tuesday, and I'm probably going to play the game for all hours on end as soon as I get home from GameStop.   Skipping school on Tuesday is not an option because I'm skipping Thursday since Thursday is my birthday. 

So moral of the story, I'm going to be VERY tired and cranky during school on Tuesday.  But it will be sooooooo worth it.
 
 
Current Mood: ecstaticecstatic
 
 
Nicole Ashley
25 January 2010 @ 10:07 pm
... Does anyone know where I can go to find some cheap cowboy boots? For real.

Okay, as I typed that question, I did a search to find an example of what I was looking for and found these. They're pretty much what I want and only $29.99! (Most of what I found was in the "not for you, poor college bum!" category.)  But if you guys have any luck or know of a place, feel free to let me know!

Don't ask why the sudden need for cowboy boots.  I think it has something to do with the watching of too much True Blood and seeing a bunch of girls on there wearing them. 

Plus I think I could pull them off in a "I'm rebelling against my redneck roots" ironic kind of way.

 
 
Current Mood: creativecreative
 
 
Nicole Ashley
15 January 2010 @ 11:18 pm
... I swear. I think.

This school thing is seriously taking over my life. During break I had time to do all this awesome stuff and now all I do it eat, sleep, work, go to school/do schoolwork, and the remaining 5% of my time is spent with Eric. For reals.

I picked the wrong semester to decide to really "apply myself". The classes are harder and I'm taking more of them and I think I just might almost die. Not totally die ... but almost.

I haven't had time to sew, and my new book I just started working on hasn't been touched since before Christmas. (I'm actually going to work on it after I'm done with this update.)

So, bear with me LJ friends. I still check my friend's list and try to comment, but updating is probably going to be few and far between for awhile.
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Current Mood: busybusy